Poem: What Price, Flavor?

It hung on my lips like an ancient waterfall, frozen in eternal winter

But even still in that chilling cold my soul, so brave and warm,

Felt nature's cleaving edge and set to splinter

Pressed in flesh in imitation of the wild and unimagined

Trapped between two halves of whole and others there besides

Never known to this world's love, and so growing quite misshapen.

Saucy truth, not quite content to travel on the path of history

Strikes awe in eyes of followers and devotees

And quietly though I trace my way, remembering such humbleness

Never rich, ensconced in power or being contemptuously glib

So I did make my way across that portal to the priests and artisans

And ordered “One McRib”

I'm Pudding This Here So I Can Ketchup On Writing -or- Cooking With Derp

Oh to know what goes on in my brain.  Hell I wish I knew... I have WAY too much going on up there that it's hard to keep track.  I'm writing a few things up there at the moment and I need more time to flesh out some ideas.  I tend to write kind of stream of consciousness so I can be pretty damn long winded.

Anyway, it was cold and rainy today and I was feeling pretty sad so I decided to cook something.  And what better "a something" than soups/stews for a cold day?  A short time ago I got pissed at cooking threads on /fit/ (yeah, I browse /fit/ and lift...) which contain some of the most awful, bland, poorly conceived recipes.  So I decided I'd make something to contribute.  Some 'OC' if you will.  I even calculated approximate nutrition for those guys.  Behold, a New Mexico classic: Green Chile Stew...with a twist.  Click for full image and save it, and try it, and love it.

Now the instructions in the image are pretty generic but I'll go in depth now.

Read more »

Cooking With Derp 2: The Cookening

Well folks, its raining like crazy here and I'm feeling a bit down so how about some tasty food to cheer us up?  I like to eat healthy, and I'm working on losing weight but I also love food.  It's quite possible to balance it all out and eat great, lose weight, drop your cholesterol and all that.  Last time I showed you a soup recipe, so now let's go to the dessert.  Just like a table setting, we're working from the outside in.

Don't eat it just yet, finish your greens.

If you don't like fruit, then there's something wrong with you.  Strawberries are one of my favorites.  They go on anything, and even with a certain unlikely ingredient  that's featured in the dessert today: balsamic vinegar.  This recipe is, from what I read, a more European equivalent of strawberry shortcake.  It also happens to be a lot healthier. Depending on how you make it the caloric value is about 150 calories, way better than ice cream or pound cake.

So, you'll need:
2 cups sliced strawberries
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Pinch of freshly cracked black pepper
1 Tbsp butter (if you're using a pan, keep reading)
2-4 wedges/slices of angel food cake (can use sugarless if you want)
1" thick Whipped cream (if you like)

Preparation: 
Slice strawberries however you like and put them in a bowl with the balsamic and pepper to marinate for about 15 minutes.  Heat up a grill, stovetop grill or skillet.  If using the skillet add the butter, otherwise you don't need it.  Throw your slices of angel food cake on and cook it on med until it browns and caramelizes slightly.  Remove to a plate and add the strawberries and liquid.  Finish with a small scoop, SMALL, scoop of whipped cream if you like.  I personally don't care for it so I added nothing but a little powdered sugar for contrast.

Oh lawd, you just want to lick your screen now don't you?

You might be turned off at first but you should really give it a try.  The only really expensive ingredient is the balsamic.  With this stuff you really do get what you pay for.  You don't have to get the 100 dollar bottle that's locked up and in a wooden crate, but don't get the 2 dollar store brand bottle.  Good balsamic vinegar has a mild flavor and when mixed with the strawberries it really enhances the sweetness and rounds it out giving the whole dish a full-bodied flavor.  The texture of the strawberries is just starting to change, especially if you're using the fresher kind which is still firm, and mixed with the crunchy sweetness of the angel food cake...well, your mouth will be singing trust me.  


All in all you can't beat a simple, fancy and healthy dessert.  Try making it for your special person, show off to mom and dad, impress the kids, apologize to the neighbor for all that loud, creepy sex you're always having (no one likes a braggart, and bringing home drifters is unsafe), or just dine in alone and have an evening with the cats and Tom Bergeron.  

DIVE BOMB INTO THE BEST DESSERT OF YOUR LIVES