Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Ode on a Greasy-ian Beard.

Here's a little something I wrote in celebration of my facial hair.  Haters gonna hate, but you know you're jelly.

Not me, but I wish it were.


My beard is awesome. Why? Because it's a friggin multitasker. It keeps my face warm, shields my skin from wind and sun, detects danger, scares away said danger, demonstrates my fitness and health, signals my maleness from long distances like a tiny little sailor with semaphore flags, and is a monument to the mastery of nature as a testament to some 14 BILLION years of cosmological evolution and 4.5+ billion years of terrestrial, biological evolution. Billions of species evolved, fought and died to gift me this wonderful facial device. How could I refuse such a gift, built of the lifeblood of humanity's most ancient forefathers? Brothers and sisters in Christ? Maybe....maybe....but we are all brothers and sisters...in Beard.


18 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYi24D9lHqc


    WORKING BEARD DOOR.

    that is all.

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  2. that beard is the fucken shit, and his mustache is so brutal

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  3. haha! nice one. i'm also trying to grow some beard.

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  4. Lol, I want a manly beard like that

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  5. Hahaa, I've seen that dude before.

    I have never heard a beard called a facial device before.

    Bravo.

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  6. That's a good amount of beard lust you got going on.

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  7. interesting, I didn't know that...

    GTL4life!

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  8. Epic beard is epic, i'm impressed by the "detects danger" part XD

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  9. Nice post man keep em coming ! and check out my reviews ;)

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  10. i betcha that's itchy as my balls are...

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