Saturday, September 25, 2010

Slowly but Surely

Didn't think I'd have something to write about already but wow. So, my super advanced washing machine broke a few weeks ago and we've been using the one our gracious neighbor has. Three weeks ago a tech showed up, after having been told what the problem and error code were, and didn't do squat. He looked at it and said "oh well you need a new part for that you have to order it and we'll send someone later." He knew what the error code was, why didn't he have the part already when he showed up a week after being called? I probably shouldn't mention names, but this was a major retailer of home appliances. So, we order the part and then call for a guy to come install it and guess what? Several week wait. Oh hell. So, flash forward through those weeks of hell to today and the service guy arrives. Everything's going well until he starts making some strange comments about Hispanics. He was talking about how "those Hispanic guys are small they can jump over these things and get back in those nooks," referrign to how the washer/dryer stack is in a closet. In my head I was thinking "oh, alright this is...uh weird," but nothing too bad.

Then came the Asian comments. He wasn't "allowed" to move the stuff so I had to do it all myself which was hard since both units are a few hundred pounds and bolted and in a little closet with an inch of room or less on each side. I was barefoot and he- apropos of nothing- says "you know them Asians don't wear shoes in their houses, you should move appliances in Asian folks' homes." I about dropped the dryer at that point. He goes on saying "yeah I dunno what it is but they don't wear shoes or nothing 'round their houses...something to do with the religion I think. To them (and he really did emphasize it) it's a sign of disrespect or something" then punctuated it with a chuckle. I swear to Thor he was like some kind of stereotype himself. He didn't have a thick Southern accent but he seemed like a good-old-boy. I don't know why but I thought of the exterminator from this Penny Arcade comic.  I think there's another one of the same guy where he rides the crow, but I couldn't find it. 

I feel like I should have spoken up, but I wanted him to fix it and be gone so I could get free hot dogs and beer at the condo cookout.  Justice died because I wanted hot dogs....holy derp.

Wow, who knew this stuff could be so hard? Been changing settings and stuff, trying to get it customized and comfortable. I have little clue as to how this all works, really but TAKE HEART FUTURE READERS I have plenty of content on the way. I just need to work out all this stuff about display names and layout really. I'm fickle sometimes and I want this thing to look pretty for when I actually get more stuff up to read and of course people to read it. So basically this is the official criticism post because I don't want dozens of emails if people have a gripe about the font or size or color.

Begun this Derp War Has

Well, I'm off to a good start huh?  Already got my nerdy reference in in the frakking title.  I've been meaning to write a blog like this for a long long time, and people have often (wrongly) assumed I'm creative and funny.  Well, I'll let the people decide that for themselves.

First thing, what is "derp."  I'm pretty sure it originated with the show South Park and the character of Mr. Derp from the episode "Succubus" (Season 3, Episode 3).  That was the first time I remember hearing it.  Here's a clip:

Anyway, this is from 1999.  I think the phrase got uttered a few more times in the years since, but my friend and I started using it as an exclamation sometime in there, probably 2000 or so.  "Derp" for us came before any of this "win" and "fail" stuff.  Derp was when something was so dumb, stupid, or out right ridiculous it made you laugh like Phil Ken Sebben, a harsh, quick, and derisive chuckle...the result of blowing a funny fuse even.  Derp is versatile enough to be used in place of oaths and swears.  I am pretty sure that "derp" is encoded in our DNA because even my 10 year old cousin gets it.  This blog is dedicated to bringing BITING, WITTY ANALYSIS (derp) of all those Derp-tastic moments in our world.

Stay frosty, people....this could get nasty.