I Have No Chicken, and I Must Scream

“Fr...freed'm,” he wheezed through flour-crusted, dry lips. The single word a herculean effort, contracting his diaphragm to expel enough air sent arrows of pain through his chest. Moments passed as he gathered his strength to continue, he MUST continue, he knew. A man of considerable size, he found it difficult to stand from his plastic bench throne. Shuffling slowly across the dimly lit expanse on red, swollen legs the man gazed at the beauty around him. He couldn't remember anything else besides this place. When did he get here? Had it always been like this? Such questions were irrelevant, all that remained was the fight, the War. He knew his parents had been brave warriors too, and their parents before them, generations of his kin battled the Enemy and paid with their glucose tolerance. In the end it was for the sake of all. Even if it meant the damnation of his body, at least his soul-and the souls of all mankind- could be saved by his rheumatic, sweaty hands.

Arriving at the dispensing unit, he steadied himself and squinted at the list. What could he take in this state? He knew he was nearing his time. He was 25 after all-or so he thought, time passed strangely here. Finally it came to him and as he mumbled and slurred-why did his lips feel so tingly- the words required for his task, he could already smell the Victory as it was prepared for him. In less than a hyper-tensioned heartbeat it was ready for his glorious moment. A hush fell upon the place as all eyes took aim to the would-be savior. The silence screamed at him to win. His heart pounded, more than usual, as he unwrapped It. Glorious, it was, gleamingly greasy and breathtaking to behold. Touching it to his lips he felt ecstasy flow through him as those in their seats murmured in approval. His heart beat harder...harder...too hard! It was wrong, so wrong, and he knew it in an instant. The two empty halves of biscuit fell to the tiled floor, wails of agony echoed through the room, and the man's heart rebelled.

Am I unworthy?! What have I done wrong?! He was dying and he knew it, he must escape. No matter what had just happened he could not defile this...temple. Pain shot through his arm as he spun, panicked, looking desperately for the exit. Chaos was erupting behind him, wails of agony and despair. Some shouted it was a sign, others a curse. The man didn't care, his instinct howled at him to survive. As he burst through the long sealed doors, he faltered. Even in his mortal panic, the light was blinding and terrifying. On his knees now, crying, he felt his life slipping away. He gazed up at the strange blue sky above him. Was this here all along? Silent tears trickled down his pock-marked cheeks.

Suddenly he could feel someone there, someone speaking to him, it felt, from so far away. It's too late, I've failed, he thought, slipping further away. Nothing to do now but...pain! There was pain, incredible pain, worse than before. It was waking him up. A rhythmic pressing on his chest that hurt more than anything he'd ever felt. Seemingly an eternity passed before he opened his eyes again to see a man hovering above him pressing on his chest. The dying man was confused, what was going on? In that moment, the other man's mouth tightly close over his own! No! NO! THIS IS THE ENEMY, ISN'T IT?!

Spitting and sputtering with all his strength, the dying man pushed his savior away and wiped his defiled lips with a sweaty forearm. He glared at the man above him,

“Fag...” he coughed, and then the darkness took him once more.

This Message Paid For By: She Who Thirsts

Hi, I'm probably an actor...or maybe even a real person attempting to look thoughtful. But that doesn't matter, you see, I have an opinion. It's completely uninformed and this commercial portrays me as THE COMMON MAN, just like you. Yes I'm just like you, with opinions, opinions you should have, because I'm just like you. I have no apparent reason to have an informed opinion on the matter in this spot. I am not an economist, sociologist, doctor, scientist, lawyer, legal scholar, judge, officer of the peace, active duty military, or even a politician. I'm presenting myself as nothing but a 70 year old in a hat with the name of a U.S. Naval vessel on it, or maybe a company name with “...& son(s)” to show I'm a businessman AND family man. I have CHARACTER, which is all that matters. This whole ad is premised on you being a complete idiot and buying into me being just like you. In fact, it's highly insulting that someone would even make this spot. Can you imagine how contemptuous this whole thing is? I mean, I'm obviously reading from a script, and there is probably some tiny print in a corner that was flashed for a second that you-being old- can't see too well that says Dramatization. So remember, tell your Congressman, your congressman who was voted into office because I was the one who told you he's the kind of man I'd like to sit and have a beer with- because he's a common man just like me and the best decisions are made on a six pack of moderately priced domestic 12 oz canned beer. Something real traditional and American like Budweiser or Busch not of that Sam Adams crap, that brewery still has craft brewer status, you know what word is associated with craft? “Art.” Who likes art? Homosexuals. Are you a homosexual? Good, I didn't think so. And Sam Adams was a revolutionary and trouble maker. Who starts revolutions? Young people and hippies. Well anyway where was I? Oh yes, tell your congressman to vote yes (or no) on Bill _____ against your own personal interest. Because I'm an old guy in a hat with an opinion. An opinion you should have because I obviously represent the common man, and you're one too right? You don't want to be different, do you? Being different is what communists are. You remember them, don't you? They killed your friends. And 9/11 changed everything.

(This ad paid for by a special interest group who hopes you don't look into this matter on your own and formulate your own, informed opinion so they paid an old guy who's equally clueless to tell you what to think because they hope you just see an old white man from a Pepperidge Farm commercial talking about jobs, and money, and restoring America and not the board of directors of a conglomerate who stand to profit massively off of your mishandled tax dollars being appropriated for substandard construction projects, dangerous drilling sites, and environmental destruction. I mean, you know this bill will just make them more rich/eliminate economic barriers/remove their industry from oversight, so they have more money to spend creating tiny political action committees to donate even more dollars to the politicians so they'll approve more favorable measures for powerful special interests to continually enhance their wealth and political power in a never ending cyclical vortex orgy of dollar bills, cocaine, strippers, and truck-stop gay hookups, maybe even a few covered up illegitimate children/abortions, and murders. All of it devolving with ever increasing rapidity, fed by an insatiable lust by the public for ever more violent and nasty behavior by the people around them...spiraling down a drain hewn from the bones of sentient, loving creatures into the Disposal unit of damnation to be ground by the gears of mediocrity into a paste of hate, racism, violence, and willful ignorance into a dank, poisonous sewer from which there is no return. That's when it will Truly Begin)

We're Doomed, part 39373438293034812.333

Wake up, see this what do?

God will decide when to end the Earth, not man. The obvious inference is that Congressman Shimkus thinks humans cannot destroy the Earth, or hurt its habitability. Terrific.

Watch this crazy shit here.  I'm amazed.  I really think he's just bullshitting because no one can be this retarded and hold office right?




Whatever happened to god helping those who help themselves?

Sorry I haven't been working on my blog for a while due to life circumstances and I've been making a little money digitizing ooooold documents for my father's business and at the end of the day I'm tired of typing.  If you're living at home on your parents' dime you might as well contribute to their ability to make money to pay for you.  This weekend I'm going to relax (ha!) at Anime USA where I'm also volunteering (because I don't have enough things to do).  I can't remember the last time I actually sat and watched something but it's going to be free, I'll get to push around nerds and hang out with people I know.

And of course buy a sugoii love-pillow ^___________________________________^

Hurts So Good

Aww yeah, gotta love politics.  So I'm just watching CNN because nothing else is on and BAM this shit comes on.  I don't want to influence how you view it so watch and then scroll down because page breaks isn't working how I want...




I hope you see what I see.
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Gotta love that race baiting xenophobia. Jesus Christ, it's so falsely menacing and preys on emotion more than policy. The Chinese are laughing at YOU and laughing at your penis size. AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE CHINESE MEN?! THEY'LL NEED WIVES BECAUSE THEY KILL ALL THEIR GIRLS THEY'LL TAKE OUR WHITE DAUGHTERS!!!! Citizens United fucked America hard and dry with their Supreme Court case that eventually lead to letting corporations spend unlimited and anonymous funds on political ads. Who's ready for never ending elections?

Back, From Outer Space

Well, what a hectic week.  I'm glad all that's over now.  Also it kept me from ranting about politics which is good.  I've been so frustrated with this election cycle (like they all aren't horrible nightmares) and sometimes I couldn't tell if I was watching a disaster film on Syfy or a special edition of Fox News Reports.  There was a bright spot, however.

So moe I'm gonna die~

I'm all ready to do my civic duty tomorrow, and I'm lucky my polling location is across the street :D.  Please remember if you are eligible to vote, you should.  I don't have any party affiliation but there's no advantage is sitting out on elections.  Even if you don't vote on candidates there are ballot measures that can impact you relating to tax collection, infrastructure, and in some areas WEED BRO.  Republican, Democrat, Indepenedent, or other...let your voice be heard.  Sure the American political system is pretty broken and holds voters hostage to two polarized sides, but it's what we've got right now and if you let "the other guys" discourage you then you've just been disenfranchised.  It's not about patriotism or flag waving.  As an American voter you have a modicum of power to wield as you wish so not using it is just throwing away a gift that not few in the history of the world have known. Don't let it go to waste, don't ignore the struggle of your fellow countrymen (and women).

Haha, Oh Wow.

I was just browsing through my meetup.com groups and looking for stuff to do this week and saw a discussion in the Center For Inquiry DC that looking interesting.  That's where I found this:

Evidently it was from a presentation by Sam Harris and possibly part of his new bookd The Moral Landscape. I know it's hard to read, so here is a full pdf of it with tons more info if you care to look.  I think the image makes a striking statement that many of us already knew, but to SEE it hammers home the point.