Hurts So Good

Aww yeah, gotta love politics.  So I'm just watching CNN because nothing else is on and BAM this shit comes on.  I don't want to influence how you view it so watch and then scroll down because page breaks isn't working how I want...




I hope you see what I see.
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Gotta love that race baiting xenophobia. Jesus Christ, it's so falsely menacing and preys on emotion more than policy. The Chinese are laughing at YOU and laughing at your penis size. AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE CHINESE MEN?! THEY'LL NEED WIVES BECAUSE THEY KILL ALL THEIR GIRLS THEY'LL TAKE OUR WHITE DAUGHTERS!!!! Citizens United fucked America hard and dry with their Supreme Court case that eventually lead to letting corporations spend unlimited and anonymous funds on political ads. Who's ready for never ending elections?

Back, From Outer Space

Well, what a hectic week.  I'm glad all that's over now.  Also it kept me from ranting about politics which is good.  I've been so frustrated with this election cycle (like they all aren't horrible nightmares) and sometimes I couldn't tell if I was watching a disaster film on Syfy or a special edition of Fox News Reports.  There was a bright spot, however.

So moe I'm gonna die~

I'm all ready to do my civic duty tomorrow, and I'm lucky my polling location is across the street :D.  Please remember if you are eligible to vote, you should.  I don't have any party affiliation but there's no advantage is sitting out on elections.  Even if you don't vote on candidates there are ballot measures that can impact you relating to tax collection, infrastructure, and in some areas WEED BRO.  Republican, Democrat, Indepenedent, or other...let your voice be heard.  Sure the American political system is pretty broken and holds voters hostage to two polarized sides, but it's what we've got right now and if you let "the other guys" discourage you then you've just been disenfranchised.  It's not about patriotism or flag waving.  As an American voter you have a modicum of power to wield as you wish so not using it is just throwing away a gift that not few in the history of the world have known. Don't let it go to waste, don't ignore the struggle of your fellow countrymen (and women).

Explain This Please (Warning Explicit Content)

All right, I guess I did have enough in me to write a short piece inspired by something a friend was recently telling me.  My problem is with the content of TV shows.  How is it okay for Law and Order to vividly describe violent rape of children including likes like "tearing her vagina to shreds" and "jamming a mop handle into her vagina until her uterus bled" and other horrible things, ALL ON NETWORK TELEVISION, but words like "shit" are wholly unacceptable?  I'm not a prude or anything, I just don't like to watch that stuff anymore because it makes me too sad.  Having met and gotten to know many survivors/victims of abuse, it just isn't the same. 

I feel the same way, Elliot.

But my issue is with the presentation of the content.  Do you see what I'm getting at here?  Is the sight of a nipple or bare buttocks WORSE and more socially destructive than an explicit description of the rape and murder of a young child while some evil character looks on with wide, gleeful eyes at the crying parents?  I really don't think so.  It's an issue that's the central theme of the South Park movie where Americans are outraged at "naughty words" but are completely fine with violence and death, even enthusiastic about it.

The news media can (but doesn't often) show the bloody aftermath of car bombs, suicide attacks, military engagements, and the like.  Yet they would be fined for using "inappropriate language" or showing a nude person.  It just seems insane to me to have such a backwards standard.  No one, I think, can make the case that a naked human is going to be more traumatic to me or anyone else than hearing 10 minutes of a woman talking about how she was gang raped.  Even those who say "it's for the children," I don't see how they can make this argument in a useful way.

That being said, of course I know I can change the channel.  I already said I do.  Yet these standards apply to any broadcast in the USA.  The rules set up by the FCC aren't probably understood to anyone but a lawyer, and those guys are f@&*kers.  What?  I said they're f@&*kers.  Oh G*d, they've c*me for me!  Nipples never hurt anyone.  I don't see why institutionalized shame has to be perpetuated about the human body and taboo words.  They evolved for a reason and serve a function in all languages, why can't they be used in an appropriate context in a program?  Why is it okay to continue feeding society's hunger for more violence and depravity, but we can't use the "wrong" words oh no!

I doubt anything will ever change (moving at the speed of government) but someday in the future it'd be nice to hear a more realistic line in an episode of Law and Order: San Angeles like, "Yeah it fucking hurt when he obliterated my womb with a shit-ton of TNT, that abortion doctor was a cunt." 

You're under arrest for violating a woman with the three seashells.

Thank you, Gracias, Grazie, and ありがとう

Woo! A personal milestone, 50 followers. I've been hard at work writing, drafting, promoting, and in some cases fellating strangers asking strangers politely and trying to get people to check out my stuff. Seems to be working. I really appreciate it. I'm even working on new segments (the cooking one seems popular) and I have a few things in mind that I'm sure will amaze and impress.

So now, in honor of your service...SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL.. A SPECIAL, SEALED DERP FILE.  Wrested from the treacherous bowels of the Federal Derp of Investigation HQ in Northern Virginia, this ancient and twisted movie review for Sex in the City 2, and the innaugural post of a new Derp Files segment:  Derp at the Movies.   Now that the bar has been set so high, what the hell am I going to do for 100 followers?  I'd like to find out, wouldn't you?
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So I decided to see what all the hub-ub was about and snuck in to see Sex and the City 2. Somehow I was alone...and there was a fell wind blowing (or the AC was cranked). Fifteen minutes in, I noticed a flickering in the corner of my eye-which I ignored at first. Then it became more noticeable and the world grayed and twisted like softened metal sagging under its own weight. Layers of Immaterium stretched out before me and I saw all the bloody history (and future) of man stretched to infinity around me. My mind reeled, I tried to stand only to vomit up purple ichor filled with un-popped kernels of corn that had laughing skulls for faces. "EMPEROR GIVE ME STRENGTH!" I shouted through the endless stream of bile. Sarah Jessica Parker turned to me from the screen, which now appeared like a roiling sea of malice and Cosmos, and opened her mouth to emit a howl somewhere between a T-Rex roar and a bleating goat.

Somehow my mind knew that she wasn't truly making a sound, it was being transmitted into my mind directly by some blasphemous magik. My vision swelled with red, the red of my own blood as I cried tears of it. My ears pounded and screamed in terror from the illusory assault. Parker's face distorted, layer upon layer, her movement leaving a vauge vibrating image like a motion blur that retained intelligent, independent movement. A thousand faces of an increasingly reptilian SJP snapped, one by one, in my immediate direction and cracked a feral, predatory smile that nearly stopped my heart. I fell to my knees in terror, babbling incoherent streams of consciousness as my soul was subjected to a billion prying eyes of pure Chaos. My very DNA trembled with fright. My Y-chromosomes began to commit seppuku, my X-chromosomes were left to envy the dead.... My blood-soaked eyes were glued to the screen as the horrors only increased, evil laughter-like ice sheets hitting a ship's hull- swirled around the room. It's evil, physical intensity left cuts on my skin like flying glass.

Then, as my very Essence teetered on the precipace.....the screen began to melt in the shape of a man. It was Sam Neil's character from Event Horizon. He walked straight to me, passing through the seats in front as if they were but mist. He stepped closer, and in the dull, purple light I could see his eyes were gaping, hollow sockets of ruinous flesh. "Where we're going, you won't need eyes," he hissed with a supernatural malevolence. "Oh thank the gods," I exhaled, sagging even further on my knees. As his cold, dead thumbs penetrated my vitrea, I smiled, knowing I wouldn't have to watch this crap any longer.

Fin.

That concludes our broadcast for today