A Sad, Maddening Confession (New Project Pt 1)

My friends, my colleagues...my fellow human beings.  This...this terrible evening I have participated in a crime.  Not a simple crime against the laws of pitiable, mortal, men-whose company I thought I no longer needed, for I possessed the ambition to exceed this weak and fallible form...no.  No, my friends, I perpetrated a crime against Nature herself.

Though I did not seek fame, fortune, recognition, or reward, I let myself be lured into conspiracy by their sweet words.  Little did I know the frightening truth of what we would unleash upon our unsuspecting Universe.  It was not my idea...no, to say such easy words is to gloss over the reality of the situation.  I stood by and I watched, I aided....my hands are as stained with orangish-brown filling as any other.

Who would have thought the old man had so much Fluff(TM) in him?

The plot was simple enough, to create a being never before seen.  But as the life giving machines we would use gurgled to life, I could feel their wicked intent rumbling in my chest like the throaty growl of a stalking beast.  Their whirring and spinning blades shinning bone white, the tiny gaping maw at its terminus devouring all light that ventured near, echoing deathly black.  I shuddered to even gaze upon it, for the creeping realization of what was to come hit my chest  with the force of a prizefighter's deadly fist.

That's when 'it' truly began.  Rumbling and whirring, turning and spinning the archaic engine growled and strained to fulfill its task in a gleeful frenzy.  I watched as they poured the materials into the raw darkness, and yet I stood there doing NOTHING.  Well, once again those easy lies come to my dry, shaking lips.  I was recording it.  Yes, I stood there filming what would be our great triumph of science and gastromancy.  I would capture as best I could with limited human technology the wonder we would create.  The smell was...amazing.  It transfixed my very soul.  My head was swimming in the future possibilities, until the sound began....

The machine began to shake.  Glowing, silver runes on its weathered face reflected the harsh light in the laboratory directly into my eyes: K-I-T-C-H-E...My mind couldn't comprehend what it was experiencing, the light too blinding, the sound too....too....I don't know how to describe the sound.  It was the smacking lips of devils, slurping and devouring, sucking and extracting the life essence and soul fires of innocent, sentient beings.  I felt my gorge rise, copper tasting cruor filled my mouth and blotted out my senses.  Still, I remained rooted to that spot.

I watched with unblinking, bloodied eyes as its hollow, translucent body began to pulse and fill with unholy brown gloop.  Slowly, achingly slowly...it took shape.  The brown serpent grew longer with each passing moment, its vegetarian flesh moist from its birth into our world.  As it grew it began to twist and warp, forming many horrifying segments, segments without end, coiling and flopping over and around each other.  One segment twisted violently and separated from its kin, spewing its abhorrent, spiced ichor all about us.  It howled in rage and pain even as I reached out to hold it.  Why?  I do not know, maybe in my heart I pitied it...but as I took its body in my hand I was flooded with a sensation of...ickiness.  My eyes were truly Opened.  My soul was illuminated even as it was burned to ash by the power of this daemon.

I dropped to my knees on the hard linoleum, blood trickling from the corners of my mouth, eyes weeping an unending flood of tears (and a little bit of marshmallow fluff stuck in my beard).  I thrust my arms up towards the heavens, my upturned face ready to receive judgment from on high for the horror I had helped to bear. I sought to name this beast, though even the crackling of conscious thought on the subject singed my mouth.  I gritted my teeth and tensed my failing body and  I called out this daemon's name even as the words burned my tongue like a cinnamonny flame:

PUMPKIN...PIE....DESSERT.....SAUSAAAAAAAAGE!